Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Death of Death to Kenny Rogers?

We've been fighting the good fight for many months, trying to explain how the Gambler is out to steal your soul and brainwash your babies. We've tried convincing people that he'd probably just as much like to eat human flesh as rotisserie chicken.

But, apparently, it was all for not.

Death to Kenny Rogers has obtained exclusive visual evidence that shit is going horribly wrong in this world. Look at all these folks. We're, frankly, losing our will to keep fighting.

Kudos, Kenny. Maybe you can feed us some of your patented Metamucil-Arsenic cocktails next time you swing by our nearest river boat casino.

We still stand behind our apology, though. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

First Annual Kenny Rogers Orphan BBQ

"Roastin' kiddies ain't no different than chickens"

"Don't worry about the location or time, kids. Kenny will find you.