Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Kenny's Empire Will Run on Nickels

FACT: Kenny Rogers is planning on taking over the planet and when he crowns himself King, nickels will be the most valuable substance on Earth.

NEED PROOF? Photo evidence obtained by Death to Kenny Rogers suggests Rogers is stockpiling everyone's favorite five-cent buddy via slot machines. Perhaps he's collecting these silver trinkets to rule the world.

OR, more likely, to fill socks with as an environmentally-friendly murder weapon.

OR, even MORE likely, to melt into the 50ft statue of his genitalia he's secretly been planning to sculpt since 1973.

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